KEEP ON'

Live from THE NATION earlier today

ACCESS GRANTED

Every Sunday night Access Granted

Closing Chapter

Last segments of cleaning up the old place before I give up the keys







Not a highlight video but it had to be done reality tv at its finest lolol - U-BATT TV

AFTER HOURS

I was planning to stay home to night but it was Lee's birthday! He is a great friend of mine even though I went I out I did not have any drinks just had a great time with good people. SAM-I-AM AFTER HOURS series I apologize there is any swearing but I just cannot control everyone enjoy!

Closing Chapter

Closing the Chapter on my 1st place out here in Edmonton live there for 2 years good times and bad times wouldn't change it for the world.

KEEP ON'

Into to THE NATION building back up the momentum can't stop won't stop! BOWWWW

KEEP ON'

I woke up today unmotivated, uninspired I willed my way out of bed and jumped in the car. Driving to THE NATION I asked myself where do I get the energy to keep going? Where does this motivation come from? I didn't have the answer then... It was only upon getting to THE NATION mid way threw the workout I realized.

It's a mind set despite everything that's happened I still remain. I  didn't fail I NEVER FAILED! I know everything that is happening is happening just the way its supposed to. It only fuels the fire awakening the sleeping monster within, that lies in everyone one of us. It only comes out after traumatic experiences where you feel you cannot take it anymore and something has to give. So I'm sorry I have to change otherwise I will go insane staying the same. Growth is needed it's time to evolve. 


EVOLUTION

KEEP ON'

Why would I quit now? No girl, no kids, not many friends out here, no distractions, I didn't get what I want. It would be easier to if I got my ass beat all over the field, but when you haven't even stepped on the field I don't have enough reasons to hang em up. I'm not getting my shot and it pisses me off. Slow to anger it takes so much to truly get me mad. Calm on the outside but raging on the inside. What makes me mad is that my teammates know I can play I get nothing but love from vets and young players, but still no love from the organization. When I train I'm so mad it's unreal I haven't hit this point of anger in a while, turn on lights on and ill show you what I'm about! KEEP ON'

The Lost Blogs

The Lost Blog series the missing months from Feburary - May where I was writing but chose not to post because I felt it was too personal. As these feelings pass I choose to share it now because truth be told someone is going threw this and I no longer care what others think it's from the heart so it can't be bad. I've met 5 or 6 guys out here in Edmonton going threw the same thing as we speak. It will fill in the missing gap of where my mind was at during those months.





Written February 4th, 2010

The road back seems darker than ever so many uncertainties about life makes it tough to focus.  I would rather not talk about this but it must be done. My girlfriend broke up with me! I won't

say it came as total surprise I could feel her distancing herself away from me over the past few weeks. I will try not to go into too much detail but I know she wasn't happy inside. I always told her that she has to be more selfish at times and devote more time to herself rather than other people. Giving her my honest advice I never thought it would result in her leaving me. The hardest part is waking up and coming home because we did live together and you get used to seeing someone and all of sudden they are not there.  It was love at first sight we knew we were supposed to be together, everything happened so fast maybe too fast... I admit at first I felt a little overwhelmed seeing her all the time and just wanted some time for myself, maybe its at that point that point for her now who knows. When I first met her I saw something special in her not somebody who had already made it and successful, but someone full of hopes and dreams to be somebody. We said we were going to do it together. I showed her how to believe, trust and love, and she showed me how to enjoy life. eat properly, and open up. Also, she helped me through a real low point in my life where I really all most gave up on myself. Different from most breaks up it's ending fairly decent I've put no resistance to fight despite whats really going on in my mind. We have always be honest with each other and told the truth even when neither wanted to hear it. She maintains that she still loves me but in a different way  whatever that means. Even though it hurts terribly I must let her leave and grow into that successful person I know she is. There is no guarantees she will be back, she probably wont be!

I was really looking forward to this Valentine's to be with someone I love and happy for once. Ever since my first relation ship in grade 6 I knew this day was going to be a problem. Even though it was puppy love my girlfriend at the time left me the day before Valentine's only to have me watch her spend it with another guy on the playground how awful! It happened again in university though it wasn't the day before it was pretty close. It's been two weeks since we broke up now but once again no Valentine. I've never had someone to spend this day with. So once again my Valentine is me May you spend a happy day with the person you love and appreciate it because some people are not as fortunate.

KEEP ON'