Sunday, May 31, 2009
Countdown to training camp -7
As training camp approaches, a strange feeling has come over me. A feeling of mixed emotions... After being passive for all of last year, I wonder if I still got it? Do I still have that juice that I've always played with? I wonder how training camp is going to go? I wonder how my body will feel when I get that first hit?.... I guess only time will tell. Just 7 days to camp, but Rookie Camp is around the corner, and yesss I'm going to that too!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Countdown to training camp -10
10 days away, I just finished the Molson Bar Blitz with the Eskimos. It was really nice meeting the fans, letting them know how great this season is going to be. That aside, I'm really anxious to get things going. It has been a long wait. Despite all the changes, I'm still here. Getting ready to help this team win and bring the grey cup back to E-town.
Friday, May 22, 2009
OFF-SEASON part III
Back in E-town I was hit with a feeling similar to jetlag. I didn’t fly so let’s call it roadlag. After driving Debo to the Airport for 6am I stayed up the rest of the day feeling weird that I was not on the road. I sat back and really thought of what we just did…. AMAZING! We actually made it across the country on a winter weekend. If we can do that then anything is possible. Gazing out the balcony I wondered why it couldn’t be June already? Reality started setting in, back to Grind Season.
Grind Season part II
You’re probably wondering now why Grind Season and not off season? It’s Grind Season because if you’re really serious about the game, then there is nothing off about it. As a matter of fact off-season is my least favorite time off year, but the work has to be done. Grinding to get it. Grinding because I want it. I’m grinding because it’s what you have to do. Nothing happens over night. I’m still left with the bitter taste from last year. It’s GRIND SEASON!
Life during the grind season was much easier now that we had a car. Instead of arriving at the gym after work by 8pm, I was now leaving at that time. Though the days were still long it was much easier than riding the bike. The regimen was running smoothly but at work I was frustrated because I wanted to get my training done first thing in the morning, with work coming in second. Working at Totem was a great experience. I met a lot of Eskimo fans and other wonderful people. I explained my plan to some of them and they gave me encouragement and wished me good luck along the way. Despite enjoying working there, something had to be done to alleviate some time in the mornings so I could train more effectively. With the help of the Eskimos front office I was able to score a more flexible job. They lined me up with a job as a security guard. At first I was a little hesitant. Thinking back to Montreal, it was usually a work gig where you really had to secure. I took the job anyways.
I was given two permanent sites; Independent Jewellery and Icon Omega II. Icon Omega was a new condo building being constructed. During the weeknights I would work at the Jewelry store and on weekends Icon Omega. The first shift at Icon was long with not much to do. The building was empty except for the first 3 hours of my shift. Working 12hr shift on the weekend left me with plenty of time alone. Only a routine hourly check pulled me away. With so much free time on my hands I couldn’t possibly sit and do nothing all day.
At this point, reading came back into my life. I needed to escape the cold winter feeling in the empty construction building, so I escaped with my mind. I took a friends advice and purchased a book, The Secret. Reading it over and over again throughout the month of February I let the words sink into my head. The book had a very powerful message and gave me a whole new perspective on life. If you haven’t heard or read this book I urge you to go get it now. I PROMISE YOU WILL NO BE DISSAPOINTED. This book reinforced a way of thinking that I had already practiced, but never to its fullest potential
The book suggested putting things down on paper, creating a “vision book”. With nothing to do but sit down all weekend I said yes to the vision book. The first day with the book was quite slow. I had a couple of goals and dreams down but it didn’t take much time. Pen in hand, looking at the notebook pages I felt I had nothing to put down. Last season I had started writing my experiences as a rookie for an online football site. After not finishing my entries, Pat, the owner of the site let me know that some of the readers were disappointed. Remembering how terrible I felt that I didn’t finish, I decided to complete what I had started in my vision book. As I relived the experiences in my mind I put everything down as vividly as I could. The flood gates opened and I began writing non-stop. Sitting in that empty building it was my only form of entertainment. I told my friend H about what I was doing and he urged me to create a blogspot. The first two blogs I posted received so much feedback that creating the blogspot became the best thing I had ever done. I would re-live each week from the last season and capture the memories in writing. March and April flew by as I wrote and put in the work, making preparations for the next season. Grind Season had come to an end and I no longer hated it. I was back in shape, on a steady schedule, and feeling good about myself. With football season on the horizon, this is what I’ve been waiting for.
So now that we’re caught up to speed, LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
Countdown to Training Camp 10….
SAM-I-AM
Sunday, May 10, 2009
OFF-SEASON part II
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
The saying “Home for the Holidays” never had much meaning for me, for the simple fact that I had always been home. It added another first experience to the year for me. As soon as I got off the airplane I felt much better. A feeling of familiarity hit me, something I was used to. I started wondering if I had made the right decision to stay out in Edmonton? Only time will tell. For the time being I was happy to be home.
My second night back marked the first night out on the town. I reunited with close friends Ceddy Rock and T-Time. The first thing both of them said was, “Dam you look small!” Still not knowing how much I weighed, I replied thanks with a smile. The night out was great. It brought back many memories from my university years. While standing around, I noticed that I did not miss the Montreal night life anymore. Something that seemed so appealing to me 8 months ago was not as enjoyable as before. Did I change? Mature?? Or did I just have different priorities? I think it was a combination of all three.
Being home for a couple of days now, I started feeling like myself again. Reminded that I did have friends and family that I could talk to helped. Despite my struggles last year, I was in a great position. The news came in that the new coach of the Edmonton Eskimos was Richie Hall. The excitement started brewing that day. Now, inspired I put Young Cal’s advice to work. Finally stepping on the scale, I tipped in at 187 lbs. I was in shock of how much I had lost in 3 weeks. I had accomplished my goal already. My next goal was to become more flexible. I’ve always stretched but always felt that my muscles were very tight. I needed to find a way to drastically improve my flexibility.
YOGA
Never in a million years did I think I would join a yoga class. How did this ever come about? Well long story short, I met an old friend when I was down. I was talking about how I needed to increase my flexibility. She urged me that Yoga would be great for me. Still skeptical, I declined at first. She began taunting me, asking me if I was too scared. After some thought, I decided to give it a try. After all, it could be another first to add to the list.
First class, I was ready to go! We drove downtown to St-Laurent street where it was located. The sign read Moksha Hot yoga. Hot yoga? I had no clue what regular yoga was and here I am being dragged to hot yoga. Entering the yoga room, I was slapped in the face by this heat and fans blowing hot air at me. It was a little uncomfortable, but being in Dubai before the season prepared me somewhat for this type of heat. Sitting on the floor of the hot room, Ashley told that it was an advanced class. She explained that I shouldn’t feel bad if I couldn’t do all the positions. “Piece of cake” I felt I was in great shape. Bring it on! At first it was simple. As the class wore on, however, it started to speed up. It was quite hard to breathe and I found myself dizzy. My competitive edge didn’t want to stop because she was so much better than me. Midway through the class I was done. I could barely do any of the moves. I was in way over my head. I forced myself to try to do as much I could. I couldn’t wait to get out of that hot room. Following the class I was dead tired. How could a little stretching be so hard? I had found new respect for yoga. It was much harder than it looked.
The next day I woke up feeling muscles I had never felt before. It was a great feeling, my body had never felt so relaxed. I made a decision to keep yoga as part of the training regimen.
NEW YEARS
On a normal occasion I would be going out with friends and drinking the night away. It was different for me this new years. No longer did I want to go out and party like I used to in Montreal. I was enjoying Montreal in a different way. Just being around my friends was enough for me. I spent the night at H’s place with a couple of other close friends. Pleased with my lighter physique, I splurged on some fast food for once. I only spent $20 and had the best new years to date.
ROAD TRIP
As days passed I knew the vacation was coming to an end. Thinking ahead 5 months, I knew there was still a lot of work to be done. It was going to be back to the grind to prepare for next season. I truly enjoyed my time in Montreal. Being around friends and family was something I really needed. Driving away from downtown I looked through my rear view and promised myself the next time I would return to Montreal it was with my pads and the Nasty Eskimos.
Originally I was supposed to fly back, but I decided not to. A buddy of mine, Chad, had made a big decision to come out west and get his life started. He too had felt he was not doing anything very productive in Montreal and needed a change. I explained to him how it was quite time consuming to not have a car in Edmonton, so he decided to bring his car down. Chad had his buddy Debo checked the mechanics of the car to make sure it was fit to drive. After a couple of minor repairs, it was ready to go. Now, Debo has always been a fan of driving. He is known for taking trips for no reason so he wanted in on this one. Adding an extra driver made things easier on us so his company was welcomed. Debo had booked a return flight to Montreal so we had to push to arrive in Edmonton in 60hours. The plan was to drive straight, stopping only for food, gas, and to give the car break. When I told my mother the plan she looked at me as if I was crazy. She said, “In the winter there is no way you’re going to get there in time to make that flight!” I smiled and told her, when there’s a will there’s a way. Even if we didn’t make it, it wasn’t the end of the world. But, after Debo had invested $600 in a ticket we did not want his money to go to waste.
After a short delay we hit the road. Leaving Quebec was a piece of cake. Riding high in the province of Ontario our first nightfall hit. Somewhere around midnight it felt like the temperature in the car had dipped, my toes were starting to get cold. I asked what was going on…? Chad replied, “ I think we lost heat?” Right then, it truly felt as if we were in a scary movie. We stopped at Mc Donald’s to regroup, throw some more clothes on, and discuss what our next move was. Our only option was to keep going. We were too far in now, approaching the great lakes. The U.S was in sight and we just had to make it through the night. Chad had just put in an 8 hour shift of driving. Debo was up next. Rolling along it was terribly cold in the car. We only managed to get part of the heat working which only allowed us to semi defrost the front window. It was incredibly hard to see out the front and all the side windows were frosted inside. Driving across Canada during the winter was no joke. I prayed to god to watch over us as we might be in over our heads.
I awakened with relief that Debo had got us through the first night. He clocked in a 10hr shift all while getting us through the U.S border. It warmed up considerably in the morning, the heat was working better, and things didn’t look as bad anymore. After being on the road for 18hrs we had weathered the first storm. Now arriving in Wisconsin, Chad hit the wheel again, while I was on the passenger side navigating the GPS. The weather was much nicer in the U.S. and we enjoyed the whole day with no worries. Just us on the road, rolling along.
The saying “Home for the Holidays” never had much meaning for me, for the simple fact that I had always been home. It added another first experience to the year for me. As soon as I got off the airplane I felt much better. A feeling of familiarity hit me, something I was used to. I started wondering if I had made the right decision to stay out in Edmonton? Only time will tell. For the time being I was happy to be home.
My second night back marked the first night out on the town. I reunited with close friends Ceddy Rock and T-Time. The first thing both of them said was, “Dam you look small!” Still not knowing how much I weighed, I replied thanks with a smile. The night out was great. It brought back many memories from my university years. While standing around, I noticed that I did not miss the Montreal night life anymore. Something that seemed so appealing to me 8 months ago was not as enjoyable as before. Did I change? Mature?? Or did I just have different priorities? I think it was a combination of all three.Being home for a couple of days now, I started feeling like myself again. Reminded that I did have friends and family that I could talk to helped. Despite my struggles last year, I was in a great position. The news came in that the new coach of the Edmonton Eskimos was Richie Hall. The excitement started brewing that day. Now, inspired I put Young Cal’s advice to work. Finally stepping on the scale, I tipped in at 187 lbs. I was in shock of how much I had lost in 3 weeks. I had accomplished my goal already. My next goal was to become more flexible. I’ve always stretched but always felt that my muscles were very tight. I needed to find a way to drastically improve my flexibility.
YOGA
Never in a million years did I think I would join a yoga class. How did this ever come about? Well long story short, I met an old friend when I was down. I was talking about how I needed to increase my flexibility. She urged me that Yoga would be great for me. Still skeptical, I declined at first. She began taunting me, asking me if I was too scared. After some thought, I decided to give it a try. After all, it could be another first to add to the list.
First class, I was ready to go! We drove downtown to St-Laurent street where it was located. The sign read Moksha Hot yoga. Hot yoga? I had no clue what regular yoga was and here I am being dragged to hot yoga. Entering the yoga room, I was slapped in the face by this heat and fans blowing hot air at me. It was a little uncomfortable, but being in Dubai before the season prepared me somewhat for this type of heat. Sitting on the floor of the hot room, Ashley told that it was an advanced class. She explained that I shouldn’t feel bad if I couldn’t do all the positions. “Piece of cake” I felt I was in great shape. Bring it on! At first it was simple. As the class wore on, however, it started to speed up. It was quite hard to breathe and I found myself dizzy. My competitive edge didn’t want to stop because she was so much better than me. Midway through the class I was done. I could barely do any of the moves. I was in way over my head. I forced myself to try to do as much I could. I couldn’t wait to get out of that hot room. Following the class I was dead tired. How could a little stretching be so hard? I had found new respect for yoga. It was much harder than it looked.
The next day I woke up feeling muscles I had never felt before. It was a great feeling, my body had never felt so relaxed. I made a decision to keep yoga as part of the training regimen.
NEW YEARS
On a normal occasion I would be going out with friends and drinking the night away. It was different for me this new years. No longer did I want to go out and party like I used to in Montreal. I was enjoying Montreal in a different way. Just being around my friends was enough for me. I spent the night at H’s place with a couple of other close friends. Pleased with my lighter physique, I splurged on some fast food for once. I only spent $20 and had the best new years to date.
ROAD TRIP
As days passed I knew the vacation was coming to an end. Thinking ahead 5 months, I knew there was still a lot of work to be done. It was going to be back to the grind to prepare for next season. I truly enjoyed my time in Montreal. Being around friends and family was something I really needed. Driving away from downtown I looked through my rear view and promised myself the next time I would return to Montreal it was with my pads and the Nasty Eskimos.
Originally I was supposed to fly back, but I decided not to. A buddy of mine, Chad, had made a big decision to come out west and get his life started. He too had felt he was not doing anything very productive in Montreal and needed a change. I explained to him how it was quite time consuming to not have a car in Edmonton, so he decided to bring his car down. Chad had his buddy Debo checked the mechanics of the car to make sure it was fit to drive. After a couple of minor repairs, it was ready to go. Now, Debo has always been a fan of driving. He is known for taking trips for no reason so he wanted in on this one. Adding an extra driver made things easier on us so his company was welcomed. Debo had booked a return flight to Montreal so we had to push to arrive in Edmonton in 60hours. The plan was to drive straight, stopping only for food, gas, and to give the car break. When I told my mother the plan she looked at me as if I was crazy. She said, “In the winter there is no way you’re going to get there in time to make that flight!” I smiled and told her, when there’s a will there’s a way. Even if we didn’t make it, it wasn’t the end of the world. But, after Debo had invested $600 in a ticket we did not want his money to go to waste.
After a short delay we hit the road. Leaving Quebec was a piece of cake. Riding high in the province of Ontario our first nightfall hit. Somewhere around midnight it felt like the temperature in the car had dipped, my toes were starting to get cold. I asked what was going on…? Chad replied, “ I think we lost heat?” Right then, it truly felt as if we were in a scary movie. We stopped at Mc Donald’s to regroup, throw some more clothes on, and discuss what our next move was. Our only option was to keep going. We were too far in now, approaching the great lakes. The U.S was in sight and we just had to make it through the night. Chad had just put in an 8 hour shift of driving. Debo was up next. Rolling along it was terribly cold in the car. We only managed to get part of the heat working which only allowed us to semi defrost the front window. It was incredibly hard to see out the front and all the side windows were frosted inside. Driving across Canada during the winter was no joke. I prayed to god to watch over us as we might be in over our heads.
I awakened with relief that Debo had got us through the first night. He clocked in a 10hr shift all while getting us through the U.S border. It warmed up considerably in the morning, the heat was working better, and things didn’t look as bad anymore. After being on the road for 18hrs we had weathered the first storm. Now arriving in Wisconsin, Chad hit the wheel again, while I was on the passenger side navigating the GPS. The weather was much nicer in the U.S. and we enjoyed the whole day with no worries. Just us on the road, rolling along.
As we rolled into the prairies the scenery was beautiful. As miles wore on, I passed most of the time thinking.
The scenic part of the trip was done. We had half the trip behind us and it was now time for me to hit the wheel. This night was much better than last night better visibility, and a warmer car. I drove through the night into the morning. Once again it was a nice day as we passed through Minnesota. The worst was still yet to come. The third night it was terribly foggy and we could only see about 15yards ahead of us. Thank god for the GPS system we would have never made it without it.
The final push put us through the flats of Saskatchewan. We arrived at the Edmonton International Airport 17 minutes before his flight was boarding. Mission accomplished! Montreal to Edmonton in less than 60 hours.
Monday, April 27, 2009
OFF-SEASON part I
That sums up my rookie season in the CFL, and I wouldn’t change it for the world! My experiences as a rookie have truly made me a better person as well as an athlete. Special thanks to JNB, L DUB, KP, Kelly Cam, Smooth Fred, JY and last but not least, Charlie. Your guidance through my rookie season made the transition to professional football easier. Thank you for showing me the ropes.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, missed, or misspelled words. After such positive feedback from fans and friends, I was so excited to get the story out, that some weeks I neglected to check them for errors. Special thanks to my editor for cleaning up the blogs and making them easier to read. Now that the bulk of the story is out, I will ensure that I take my time in posting new entries. In the future, look forward to at least one blog a week on various topics.
Be prepared for the debut of the next series of entries entitled, 2nd Time Around. Giving you the inside perspective of the Eskimo’s 2009 season as we contend for the grey cup.
3 WEEKS OF SOLITUDE
Following the final game of the season, I was left with a feeling I had never felt before. The only reason I was in Edmonton was for football, now that it was done, I had nothing! I don’t like to lose. Even if I wasn’t playing, it still hurt. Sitting there trying to find answers of what I could have done better, I had none. You can’t really have much say from the sideline. Our last meeting was 2 days following the game. Coach explained to us how proud he was even though we came up short. It was virtually a new team with young faces everywhere. He also explained the cruel reality of this sport in that some of us may not be back next year. After an offensive and defensive meeting, we all parted ways. That same group of guys will never again be intact.
Returning home I wondered what I was going to do with my free time. Blank. The city was still new to me, I felt lost. The feeling of being all alone depressed me. I woke up with nothing on the schedule, no purpose. In university, I would have school to fall back on, which provided a decent schedule for me. In a new city, I was faced with the fact that I had nothing to keep me busy. At first, I thought I would get an early start on training for the next year. With zero motivation and still no concrete idea of what position I was going to play, it was hard to get the work done. Instead, I would lie on the floor of my room looking at the ceiling. I would put one song on repeat at a time and listen to it for hours.
With no closure on the season I was down in the ditch. I let myself go. The last time I had cut my hair was week 15. I stopped shaving as well. You can imagine how disheveled I looked. The only time I would leave the house was to go to the grocery store. My eating habits were horrible! My diet would consist of processed food and a side order of grease from the local Wendy’s. Sitting there in sorrow, I searched for answers. How could a year go by without me getting in there? It was out of my hands! Football was my life. It was the one thing that made me smile. With nothing to smile for, I had accomplished only 1 of the 6 goals I set out for myself. That goal being making the team.
My only visit was from young Cal, an emerging running back. He stopped by to drop off his golf clubs. There was no room for them in his car. Reminiscing about the season, I explained to him how I was feeling. He understood the growing pains as he was once there a year before. He advised me to keep pushing on and to come back with more strength. The last piece of advice he gave me before he left was “You can do anything with strong hip flexors.”
Back to my solitude, I had put some thought to what young Cal had said. Lacking motivation, I didn’t act upon it. I stopped watching all sports, and TV for that matter. Disconnecting myself from the world, family, and friends. I retreated into my own world. I would let the phone ring. I didn’t want to hear from anyone. Re-viewing films of past games, I was frustrated that I didn’t get to play. As days passed, I went from being choked up and aggressive to really calmed down. I just let it go. I had accepted that the last season was gone. Looking forward, instead of in the past, reality hit. I was out of shape. I had put on weight and not the good kind. It was now time to face the off-season.
After 17 days, I was tired of the way I was living. I needed a drastic shock after being cooped up in the house. I had to get some fresh air. I ran out into the midst of Edmonton’s cold winter. To combat the cool temperatures my attire consisted of under armour cold gear, two t-shits, a warm up sweater, football gloves, and a tuque. It was
-25°C but it was an embracing cold chill that sent shivers up my spine. With only 20 minutes of running behind me, it was so cold that my I-pod had stopped working. I was too far in to turn back now. Upon returning home my hands and feet were frozen. It was the most pain I felt all football season. Probably nearing hypothermia, I shivered myself back to room temperature. It was a lengthy process to warm back up. Though terribly sore for the next 3 days, I felt better. I was now on the road to recovery.
GRIND SEASON part I
After 3 weeks of dwelling in the past, it was time to let go and face reality. For the most part, players during the off-season return home, wherever that may be. Although I could have easily returned home to my parent’s house in Montreal, I decided not to. I was in a transitional period of my life and felt I could not go backwards. There comes a time where everyone has to leave their nest and explore the world in its fullest. I felt I could train more efficiently here in Edmonton. Montreal is such a beautiful city that I felt I would revert back to my old lifestyle and get caught up wasting time and money on pointless things. It was all about training this year. NO DISTRACTIONS!
The first day out of solitude I had 2 objectives; to meet with coaching staff, and meet with the strength coach. I needed some closure on the season. During my solitude, DM had stepped down from head coach and was in search of a replacement. No one was available to talk to. I was urged to come back in the new year when the staff was set. However, I did get to talk to the strength coach at the time. I told him of my intentions for the upcoming season. Currently weighing in at 196lbs, my initial goal was to lose 7lbs. I learned over the season that I did not have to be as big, but rather capable of moving. He told me it was simply a matter of diet which meant I had to cut my sloppy eating out. The components of my poor diet were namely white bread, fried eggs, fast food, and processed food. Without these unhealthy staples I had to plan a new and improved nutrition program. He was a great motivational speaker, and really got me going again. Now that I had a new program I was able to find more structure in my life.
As off-season training kicked off I ran into my good buddy Charlie! He had always helped me through the season and asked me what I was doing with my free time? I gave him a look and shrugged as if to say, not much. He asked me if I wanted to work to keep myself busy. Tired of being in the house, I took him up on his offer. It would be a nice change to get out a bit more. The job he lined up for me was at Totem Outfitters in the sports exchange. In the span of 4days, I went from being home all the time to never home. With work, training, and travel time I would be getting home around 10:30 at night and still have to cook dinner and lunch for the next day. This wasn’t working in my books, I had to cut time somewhere. Originally, I walked to work in the winter cold. For some reason I was enjoying it. But, it cost me a lot of time. We had a bike in the apartment and, although it was winter, I used it. At first I was embarrassed of my means of transportation. Here I am on the bike cycling around, while other guys on the team had caddilac’s, h2o’s, and BMW’s. When you’re grinding to get it, there is no shame in the game. You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get it done! I had already hit low points everywhere else in my life, so I might as well start everything at the bottom and work up. On the icy roads, with no winter tires and no helmet, I received many puzzled looks with “are you CRAZY?” written on their faces. As time progressed I stopped caring. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me.
During the month of December, I transformed my eating habits. I cut out everything bad in my diet, especially foods high in fat. I was still struggling with cooking for myself but at least I was making an effort. At times it felt like I was starving because I was used to filling up with large portions. For a month I didn’t look at the scale. When I returned home for the holidays, I wanted to see just how much progress I had made.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, missed, or misspelled words. After such positive feedback from fans and friends, I was so excited to get the story out, that some weeks I neglected to check them for errors. Special thanks to my editor for cleaning up the blogs and making them easier to read. Now that the bulk of the story is out, I will ensure that I take my time in posting new entries. In the future, look forward to at least one blog a week on various topics.
Be prepared for the debut of the next series of entries entitled, 2nd Time Around. Giving you the inside perspective of the Eskimo’s 2009 season as we contend for the grey cup.
3 WEEKS OF SOLITUDE
Following the final game of the season, I was left with a feeling I had never felt before. The only reason I was in Edmonton was for football, now that it was done, I had nothing! I don’t like to lose. Even if I wasn’t playing, it still hurt. Sitting there trying to find answers of what I could have done better, I had none. You can’t really have much say from the sideline. Our last meeting was 2 days following the game. Coach explained to us how proud he was even though we came up short. It was virtually a new team with young faces everywhere. He also explained the cruel reality of this sport in that some of us may not be back next year. After an offensive and defensive meeting, we all parted ways. That same group of guys will never again be intact.
Returning home I wondered what I was going to do with my free time. Blank. The city was still new to me, I felt lost. The feeling of being all alone depressed me. I woke up with nothing on the schedule, no purpose. In university, I would have school to fall back on, which provided a decent schedule for me. In a new city, I was faced with the fact that I had nothing to keep me busy. At first, I thought I would get an early start on training for the next year. With zero motivation and still no concrete idea of what position I was going to play, it was hard to get the work done. Instead, I would lie on the floor of my room looking at the ceiling. I would put one song on repeat at a time and listen to it for hours.
With no closure on the season I was down in the ditch. I let myself go. The last time I had cut my hair was week 15. I stopped shaving as well. You can imagine how disheveled I looked. The only time I would leave the house was to go to the grocery store. My eating habits were horrible! My diet would consist of processed food and a side order of grease from the local Wendy’s. Sitting there in sorrow, I searched for answers. How could a year go by without me getting in there? It was out of my hands! Football was my life. It was the one thing that made me smile. With nothing to smile for, I had accomplished only 1 of the 6 goals I set out for myself. That goal being making the team.
My only visit was from young Cal, an emerging running back. He stopped by to drop off his golf clubs. There was no room for them in his car. Reminiscing about the season, I explained to him how I was feeling. He understood the growing pains as he was once there a year before. He advised me to keep pushing on and to come back with more strength. The last piece of advice he gave me before he left was “You can do anything with strong hip flexors.”
Back to my solitude, I had put some thought to what young Cal had said. Lacking motivation, I didn’t act upon it. I stopped watching all sports, and TV for that matter. Disconnecting myself from the world, family, and friends. I retreated into my own world. I would let the phone ring. I didn’t want to hear from anyone. Re-viewing films of past games, I was frustrated that I didn’t get to play. As days passed, I went from being choked up and aggressive to really calmed down. I just let it go. I had accepted that the last season was gone. Looking forward, instead of in the past, reality hit. I was out of shape. I had put on weight and not the good kind. It was now time to face the off-season.
After 17 days, I was tired of the way I was living. I needed a drastic shock after being cooped up in the house. I had to get some fresh air. I ran out into the midst of Edmonton’s cold winter. To combat the cool temperatures my attire consisted of under armour cold gear, two t-shits, a warm up sweater, football gloves, and a tuque. It was
-25°C but it was an embracing cold chill that sent shivers up my spine. With only 20 minutes of running behind me, it was so cold that my I-pod had stopped working. I was too far in to turn back now. Upon returning home my hands and feet were frozen. It was the most pain I felt all football season. Probably nearing hypothermia, I shivered myself back to room temperature. It was a lengthy process to warm back up. Though terribly sore for the next 3 days, I felt better. I was now on the road to recovery.
GRIND SEASON part I
After 3 weeks of dwelling in the past, it was time to let go and face reality. For the most part, players during the off-season return home, wherever that may be. Although I could have easily returned home to my parent’s house in Montreal, I decided not to. I was in a transitional period of my life and felt I could not go backwards. There comes a time where everyone has to leave their nest and explore the world in its fullest. I felt I could train more efficiently here in Edmonton. Montreal is such a beautiful city that I felt I would revert back to my old lifestyle and get caught up wasting time and money on pointless things. It was all about training this year. NO DISTRACTIONS!
The first day out of solitude I had 2 objectives; to meet with coaching staff, and meet with the strength coach. I needed some closure on the season. During my solitude, DM had stepped down from head coach and was in search of a replacement. No one was available to talk to. I was urged to come back in the new year when the staff was set. However, I did get to talk to the strength coach at the time. I told him of my intentions for the upcoming season. Currently weighing in at 196lbs, my initial goal was to lose 7lbs. I learned over the season that I did not have to be as big, but rather capable of moving. He told me it was simply a matter of diet which meant I had to cut my sloppy eating out. The components of my poor diet were namely white bread, fried eggs, fast food, and processed food. Without these unhealthy staples I had to plan a new and improved nutrition program. He was a great motivational speaker, and really got me going again. Now that I had a new program I was able to find more structure in my life.
As off-season training kicked off I ran into my good buddy Charlie! He had always helped me through the season and asked me what I was doing with my free time? I gave him a look and shrugged as if to say, not much. He asked me if I wanted to work to keep myself busy. Tired of being in the house, I took him up on his offer. It would be a nice change to get out a bit more. The job he lined up for me was at Totem Outfitters in the sports exchange. In the span of 4days, I went from being home all the time to never home. With work, training, and travel time I would be getting home around 10:30 at night and still have to cook dinner and lunch for the next day. This wasn’t working in my books, I had to cut time somewhere. Originally, I walked to work in the winter cold. For some reason I was enjoying it. But, it cost me a lot of time. We had a bike in the apartment and, although it was winter, I used it. At first I was embarrassed of my means of transportation. Here I am on the bike cycling around, while other guys on the team had caddilac’s, h2o’s, and BMW’s. When you’re grinding to get it, there is no shame in the game. You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get it done! I had already hit low points everywhere else in my life, so I might as well start everything at the bottom and work up. On the icy roads, with no winter tires and no helmet, I received many puzzled looks with “are you CRAZY?” written on their faces. As time progressed I stopped caring. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me.
During the month of December, I transformed my eating habits. I cut out everything bad in my diet, especially foods high in fat. I was still struggling with cooking for myself but at least I was making an effort. At times it felt like I was starving because I was used to filling up with large portions. For a month I didn’t look at the scale. When I returned home for the holidays, I wanted to see just how much progress I had made.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Life as a Rookie East Final Part 23 of 23
Edm @ Mtl The win guaranteed us another week of practice and yet another game. Now, a step closer to our ultimate goal, we were only one game away. With the status of our starting fullback questionable, there was a small chance I might dress. As in previous weeks, I was placed at a couple of different positions on special teams. By this time, I had already given up all hope to see the field this year. Even though I worked hard in hopes of getting in, I had already assumed that it just wasn’t going to happen. I did not want to get my hopes up again and have them crushed. Week 6 had really taken a toll on me mentally. Though I was up beat at practice, at home I was utterly depressed. Not to shadow what happened this week, I made great progress. Previously in 1 on 1’s I had the mindset, Don’t get beat. What happens when you think like that? You get beat! Instead I told myself that I would win every rep. I came close, winning 4 out of 5. To top it off, the last one I was able to intercept and I ran it back to the end zone as if I was in the game. On both sides of the ball players were impressed by my performance. I used to get beat like a drum, now I was holding my own. Following practice, the team packed for the trip. As usual there was no bag in front of my locker. Normally I would dash as soon as possible, but this was really our last practice at commonwealth, win or lose. So I stayed and enjoyed a couple of laughs with the team. Before I left I hand one request “Bring me home to Montreal next week.”
Game Day. At home for this one I didn’t want any distractions or the chance of missing one second of play. I ordered myself a pizza and had a 6 pack. I was officially in fan mode. We started off with a great deal of steam. AC and the Montreal offense took some time to get back in the rhythm. As the game was rolling, I received calls from friends who were at the game asking me where I was. Hearing the action live in the background, I wanted to be there BAD! I replied, “Not this year man”. Slowly, the Montreal offense put it together. The turning point in the game was a 2 punt return touchdown by Larry Taylor. This killed any kind of momentum we once had. Our returner TJ added one himself, but it was too little too late. Esks lose 36-26.
Game Day. At home for this one I didn’t want any distractions or the chance of missing one second of play. I ordered myself a pizza and had a 6 pack. I was officially in fan mode. We started off with a great deal of steam. AC and the Montreal offense took some time to get back in the rhythm. As the game was rolling, I received calls from friends who were at the game asking me where I was. Hearing the action live in the background, I wanted to be there BAD! I replied, “Not this year man”. Slowly, the Montreal offense put it together. The turning point in the game was a 2 punt return touchdown by Larry Taylor. This killed any kind of momentum we once had. Our returner TJ added one himself, but it was too little too late. Esks lose 36-26.
Life as a Rookie East-Semi Final Part 22 of 23
Edm @ Wpg My first playoff week was all business. Nothing entertaining or exciting happened this week. Everyone played an important role on the team. In practice I was quiet because these were unchartered territories for me. Practice had a different speed; everything was run efficiently with sharpness and speed. It was a slight step up from regular season practice because a lot was on the line. My only concern was not knowing what I was going to do after the season. I hoped this wasn’t my last week…
Game Day. The team was on the road. I prayed that this wasn’t going to be my last week. On a cold day in Winnipeg, the team was able to fight off mother nature and performed well. It was a close game played down to the wire. Esks win 29-21
Notes: We lost our starting non-import fullback Matt Bertand
Game Day. The team was on the road. I prayed that this wasn’t going to be my last week. On a cold day in Winnipeg, the team was able to fight off mother nature and performed well. It was a close game played down to the wire. Esks win 29-21
Notes: We lost our starting non-import fullback Matt Bertand
Life as a Rookie (Week 18) Part 21 of 23
Mtl @ Edm It was the last week of the season, I had survived a full year! It wasn’t exactly what I had planned, but the worst was over, and I was still here none the less. After our last horrendous game, we needed to get the bad taste out our mouths. T.I threw another B.B.Q to kick of the post-season. It had a different spin on it from the last one. Instead of playing Madden in the living room, guys were free-styling. Enjoying the comical experience, I laughed and cheered everyone on. Some guys were very talented while others were, well, let’s just say amusing. When I was asked to take my turn, I replied “Hell NOOO!” I was shy and wasn’t one to put myself in front of the camera, so I resisted. Back home in Montreal, I was always in the studio listening to my friend “H-Man” freestyle. I had no idea of the amount of artistic capacity that was required. However, having spent countless hours there it seemed like something I could pull off. Reciting a little freestyle version of my own in my head, I was ready. Jumping up into the camera, feeling confident with my hat tilted to the side, I told them to put the beat on. For that split second in time I really thought I could do it…Certain dudes asking where Pro go?
Where he at? Where he go? I don’t know!
…………..
As I looked back into the camera I forgot the rest of my rhyme. All the guys erupted in laughter, “AHHAHAHAHAH!!!!” Embarrassed, I returned to the couch with my head down. It was bad, REAL BAD! I went home laughing, but also dreading the next day, knowing I’d be reminded of my “stellar” performance.
Sure enough, as I walked into the locker room… “Where he at! Where he go! I don’t know!” It was the joke of the week. Finally the “Eh YOOO MAN” had died down and been replaced with new material to harass the rookie with. During warm-up on the practice field KP stopped by and said, “I heard about your freestyle…a few words of advice…know your limits! There are certain things you know you can do well and certain things you know you can’t. Know your limits!” He laughed again and jogged off. What a way to finish off the rookie season!
Game Day. The playoff picture was set and nothing was on the line. The goal was simply to get back on track with some good football. We needed to pick up a win in order to erase the awful loss from the previous week. Despite the rather meaningless game, we accomplished what we had set out to do. Esks win 37-14.
Sure enough, as I walked into the locker room… “Where he at! Where he go! I don’t know!” It was the joke of the week. Finally the “Eh YOOO MAN” had died down and been replaced with new material to harass the rookie with. During warm-up on the practice field KP stopped by and said, “I heard about your freestyle…a few words of advice…know your limits! There are certain things you know you can do well and certain things you know you can’t. Know your limits!” He laughed again and jogged off. What a way to finish off the rookie season!
Game Day. The playoff picture was set and nothing was on the line. The goal was simply to get back on track with some good football. We needed to pick up a win in order to erase the awful loss from the previous week. Despite the rather meaningless game, we accomplished what we had set out to do. Esks win 37-14.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
