The Road Back

"Once I decide to do something, I can't have people telling me I can't. If there's a roadblock, you jump over it, walk around it, crawl under it." - Kitty Kelly

Today is a new day no more talking about what happened! So the goal is getting back in the league... There are a couple of questions I need to answer who,what,when,why & how?

WHO - The saying is Once an Eskimo Always an Eskimo thought I still care for the team, city & fans. This part is out of my control. I am looking for an opportunity to resume career.


WHAT - FOOTBALL


WHEN - To be in training camp June 1st, 2009

WHERE - TBD


HOW- By training sport specific and setting daily goals for myself.

Daily Goals : 200 push ups, 200 sit ups and daily stretch  

So now that the questions are answered they were just a script to follow. Now comes Discipline, Dedication and the Determination to get it done.

Keep you Posted

 

The Road Back

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."  ~Newt Gingrich

  

The worst is over after watching another CFL season.  Without gracing the field, I can say I've faced my worst fear. Throughout all my years playing football, I've been lucky enough to start every single year. Last year I was not so fortunate as I watched from the sideline. I thought that was the worst position to be in, but this year it was much worse as I watched from the couch. I always knew I would never like this feeling, which is why I made sure to never be on this side of the coin. The road to the top never gets easier and for the first time I've faced some adversity in terms of playing. Face to face with my worst nightmare, everyday I would wake up and wish this wasn't happening to me. Sure enough, it was. Upset with myself that I had failed, a feeling that was so uncommon to me. I admit I had trouble coping with it. But I learned, and here I am today training for another shot. It's never been about money for me, I do it for the love of the game.  I'm going to keep loving it until it loves me back.

per⋅se⋅ver⋅ance


1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement

The Road Back

"The road to easy street is usually through the dump!" - John Madden

Come Back Story 

Casey Printers was thought to be finished by most after his time in Hamilton. Many wrote off his ability as a Quarterback,  just saying he didn't have it anymore. As the face of that franchise, he was forced to carry it on his back and with little success, he failed,  and was sent packing. For nearly half the season he sat at home on the couch,  watching and waiting for his chance. When ghe finally got it, he didn't disappoint, going 19 for 31 for 339 yards 2TD and 1int. The 1 interception proved to be costly as it was in overtime. It was a great effort none the less, which makes him a great come back story because not many people expected it from him. In a game with playoff implications he had to be in mid season form. I believe he showed more that enough to earn the starting right as Quarterback in this league. It's amazing how different a player looks within different settings.

What have I learned from Casey's story? That despite all the turmoil, all the negativity, and all of those who doubted him, he has overcome so much. From once being the Most Outstanding Player in the League to not having a job, to resurrecting his career. Players who wear #1 wear it for a reason, because they truly believe they are the BEST at what they do. I am honored to have met him during my rookie season. His story has inspired me to keep pushing in hopes of resuming my career. Thank you Casey!

"Never Give Up!"

The Road Back

"Pain is the price for anything that's worth something"

So where to next? Is a question I often receive when I tell people I was la late cut from the Eskimos. As it doesn't appear I will be playing this season, the next step would be to jump into off-season training. Picking up from where I left off last year, I will be running outdoors, weight training, yoga classes, and indoor soccer for some competitive action. I don't like to lose at anything, so even if its indoor recreational soccer, I don't plan on losing. Despite not knowing if all my training will be put to good work, I will do it again. Investing in myself the time in hopes of resuming my football career. Looking for a real chance to show what I can do, I will keep the faith and stay ready!

The Road Back

"You don't appreciate what you have until it's gone or it's taken from you"

Personally evaluating myself, I had a great off season dropping 8 pounds and decreasing my body fat from 14.2% to 8.8%. Following that up with a great training camp and pre-season, notching 7 tackles and a Forced Fumble. Highlighted by a goaling stop on Martell Mallet, one of the leagues best running backs. Taking the good with the bad there are 2 plays I would like to redo.  Reliving the plays through my head, I believe I could have easily made them with a little more depth at safety. Game speed and practice speed are two different things... A lesson learned! Every DB gets beats once. I'm still having a hard time believing the excuse of why I was released. " We like what we have in terms of Canadian talent."

My status as All-Canadian 3 out of 4 years in university is more than the number 1 draft pick Dylan Barker. Probably the only canadian who had more accolades was Andy Fantuz, with 3 time All-Canadian, one All-Canadian second team, and the Hec Creighton. Not to say I am better than these two by any means, i just find it hard to believe the reason i was released, given the success I've had in university. I am actually huge fans of them. This is just a comparison of the level of play I was at prior to entering the CFL.

 

A FRESH START

Dwelling in the past has gotten me nowhere! It has left me with an empty feeling, no motivation, zero belief. I will not let others tell me I cannot make it for it is only I who can make that decision. What I pray for is another chance, A REAL CHANCE to let me showcase my talents as I have in the past. The opportunity to achieve my ultimate objective, the GREY CUP. Despite my individual successes, I have never tasted the joy of winning a championship, that is what I truly want.

For Better or For Worse

It got worse before it got better.  After my last post in week 9 I talked to my agent expecting good news, it was the complete opposite. All the news he had given me was terrible, after I had managed to build up some motivation to continue training, he left me with no inspiration. A feeling that I wasn't good enough to play this game. A game I have been playing since I was a kid and excelling at. He told me that there just wasn't a need for players right now. Then again every week I check http://cfl.ca/ there is a new player being signed to a team. After some weeks of soul searching and deciding what was best for me, I found it was time to move on. Though he was a great person this is a business decision for my future as a player.

2nd time around (week 9)

"We fail all the time,but there's no shame in falling--only in not getting up and keeping on! - HMAN

Week 9 was by far the lowest week with the season half over, and my fustrations building. It was a poor effort by me all around.  Filled with negative thoughts, my motivation was at an all time low. I'd rather not go into detail as it would just perpetuate those same feelings. Long story short, I was close to hanging up the cleats and quiting training. Some days its tough to keep the motivation when times look the worst. I put my heart into this and this is how it pays off? The easy route would be to pack it in and do other things... But I'm not ready to do other things, reminding myself again of what I did and went through to get here. D D D.  Discipline. Dedication. Determination! Without question I've maintained Discipline to get to the pro ranks. Doing it from a young age Dedication is already there. In a time like this, I need the last D which is DETERMINATION! I must regain that hunger that I once had, I lost it somewhere down the line last year.

2nd time around will be put on pause because there hasn't been a 2nd time around yet.

2nd time around (week 8)

Working out at the gym I had met someone a few weeks ago. At the time he asked me what I was training for. I explained to him that I had been on the Eskimos last year, and just attended training camp with them this year. Unfortunetly I did not make the squad this year. He was very supportive and urged me the best of luck.

I had seen him again this week and he asked if there was any progre. sDissapointed I told him no. He then asked if I was available to talk to his football team that he coached. Unsure whether I wanted to do it or not, I pondered it for a few seconds. Eventually I said yes. I was not too enthusiastic about it, but I felt it would be good for me to be around a football atmoshpere. As I got there I was very nervous. Usually I was speaking on behalf of the Eskimos, but this time I was speaking on behalf of myself. Unsure how the kids would respond because I wasn`t on a team. With no speach prepared, I just said what was on my heart. As I spoke indivudually to the 6 teams I remember why I love this game so much. As I told them to believe in themselves I realized in the times that I'm facing now I have to believe in myself. It was like I was speaking to them but also speaking to myself. I have regained my love for the game through them. I am very thankful that I said yes to speaking to the kids. That day marked the first time I've been on a football field since I was released. I plan to go back and help out when I can to give back to the game that has given so much to me.

A MUST SEE!!!!

2nd time around (week 7)

Back on the grind, I feel back to normal. I'm getting my work in and still being patient. I found it a waste on energy trying to change something I have no control over. Now I'm going to try to focus my energy in the right direction. I've been having dreams lately, I'm not to sure what to make of them, but I will put them down as prophecies. In the event they do happen, I will have proof I saw it all before it happened.



DREAM 1

It's just like yesterday, I find myself at football practice with the Eskimos. As If I've never left the familiar faces all around me. It feels good. Rocking the #10, I'm actually playing this year. Much different from last year when I rode the bench all season. I knew that my hard work would pay off living here in the off-season I was 110% commited. As I walk back to the locker the dream fades.
Waking up now, anxious to get up and get to Commonwealth, I realize that I don't have a spot on the team.

DREAM 2

In a new city I had a somewhat familiar feeling, one I had last year when I first came to Edmonton. I was back on a team dressed in black. Despite new faces around me, it felt good to be given an actual chance. We took to the field in Edmoton. This time it was different, I was on the other side. It was my chance to show them that when put in the right spots, I could be very dangerous on special teams. Kicking off, I ran down the field full speed with a collision approaching, my alarm clock went off...

So those were my two dreams, I loved every minute of them as they gave me hints that I would be back on the field someday. It has given me the motivation that I need to keep pushing. To know I've been kocked down but will get back up and continue to push.

SONG OF THE WEEK







HMAN's FIRST VIDEO

2nd time around (week 6)

Before I get started, I would like to appolgize for not writing anything last week. I've been disappointed that my blog has not been going as desired. My original vision for my blog was to write about my weekly experiences through the 09 season. After being taken off the Eskimos roster, I just haven't had much to talk about. I have been bloging other articles to try and mask my own lack of content. I came to a point where I lost my hunger, my passion, and my love for the game. It has also shown in my work ethic. For the last ten days I felt discouraged and avoided training.

There is not much more sense in dwelling on the past, I need to create a new vision. With that in mind, I must find motivation and explore new possibilities. It's the beginning of a new chapter.

Music is a very powerful tool if you use it the right way. It can trigger emotions in you to get things done as opposed to not doing anything at all. I've been in an R&B state at the moment, and it is evidence of how I've begun training again and how I feel. I'm back on it! When you listen to a good artist, it's motivating just listening to the hunger in thier voice. Sad music, you're cut!

HMan, a close friend from very young, inspires me to keep my head up. Though miles separate us, we remain in touch almost everyday. Now, living in E-town I've lost contact with many friends, only speaking to them on occasion. Though they are all still close to my heart, H watches out for me and makes sure I'm always on point. Just when I feel ready to quit and give up on myself, he brings me back. Hman is an up and coming artist with lyrical skills that would put the top Hip Hop artists in their seats. So we share the same struggles, we just play different games. Knowing you have more than enough talent to be there, but watching someone else fill your spot. But we will keep pushing, keep grinding, because if it was easy, everyone would do it.

http://www.myspace.com/thehmancan

LOST SCRIPTURES

PATIENCE

Written June 20th, 2007

Anything that is worth while comes with a struggle, a fight. It just doesnt happen right away. For I have been patient for so long, believing in my abilities and my talents and knowing that it will pay off in the long run. I have sacrificed money, friendships and my girlfriend to get this far! I WILL NOT STOP NOW. For money comes and goes, you can count friends on one hand, and if she left you she never loved you. I admit at times I feel lonely, depressed, sad, anxious, worried, and self-conscious that I will not achieve what I've been working so hard for. But then I look up and see all that I've done so far and get my second wind. Believing again that I can do what I want when i put my mind to it. I say this with confidence, not cockiness; I AM THE BEST and I WAS BORN TO DO THIS! It's easier to get to the top, but staying at the top year in and out is a different story. Which is why I train harder than you, to ensure that you never take my shine. Time consuming, yes, which explains why I'm still single... I look at my teamates with their girls, envious and jealous sometimes. Getting your groove on while I am hitting the weights. Upset, I tell myself we are not in the same shoes. I am onto something and will NOT STOP until I get it. Shout out to H-Man, Ceddy Rock, the Bus and T-Time thanks for the support, ima hit yall when I get there.

After reading what I wrote 2 years ago, I recall the pain and it's similarity to what I'm going through now. I got through it then and I will make it through now. One thing I will keep stressing is that football is not for fun anymore, its a business. It is time for me to stop blogging about the Eskimos. I can't keep dreaming that dream right now. I still remain friends with many guys on the team and wish them luck this season. But I am not part of the team now, so I can't continue to share their experiences. It hurts me to say it but I must face the truth. I've only really come to terms with being cut now, I thought I had earlier but my emotions were a little premature. Once again, I appologize for my last couple of blogs for being weak and lacking substance. I am human and like everyone, go through ups and downs. The main thing I have learned is that the clock keeps ticking forward and you can't stay down for too long.

The advice my girlfriend gave me today was that negative is positive, given your perception. If you devote your time and effort into something you are passionate about and don't make it, that is not failing. Failure is when there is no passion, no effort, no time spent. Apply this concept to your life and you will always succeed.