Road trip was good all business when in got the work done no photos were taken. Mind set is just continue to train and be ready for anything that turns up. If all goes well I think this is what I've been waiting for.
A few days later
Lack of motivation today a new friend of mine questioned my work ethic yesterday. He told me "Your attitude so nonchalant about football, like you don't care, like you don't believe in yourself. I would give anything to have half the career you had. He continued you had a great career and it's in the past so what you got dirtied by the Eskimos, all I know is that you could be close to getting your career back on track you should working your hardest right now...Do you even care? How do I believe in you and you don't even believe in yourself. "
I had no reply I let him continue to ramble on about it. After sleeping on it some of the points he had were valid and some were way off. Though I didn't answer him I will answer his remarks.
The fact that I am still training seriously should be enough to show you that I still care and want to play. Despite how I act I find there is no use getting work up or excited about it. When I was re-signed last year I was so excited inspired only for it to come all crashing down again. An emotional roll-a-coaster I would rather not go on again. So I've chose to stay right in the middle not too happy not too sad. If I come off as nonchalant it because of the experiences I had.
I don't know what the future will hold emotionally drained today I don't know how long I can continue to train like this without any reward. It's been 2 years and counting that I have been training 5days a week 3hrs a day. I guess this is what faith is about continue moving forward into the unknown in hopes that it will pay off some how.
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