That sums up my rookie season in the CFL, and I wouldn’t change it for the world! My experiences as a rookie have truly made me a better person as well as an athlete. Special thanks to JNB, L DUB, KP, Kelly Cam, Smooth Fred, JY and last but not least, Charlie. Your guidance through my rookie season made the transition to professional football easier. Thank you for showing me the ropes.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, missed, or misspelled words. After such positive feedback from fans and friends, I was so excited to get the story out, that some weeks I neglected to check them for errors. Special thanks to my editor for cleaning up the blogs and making them easier to read. Now that the bulk of the story is out, I will ensure that I take my time in posting new entries. In the future, look forward to at least one blog a week on various topics.
Be prepared for the debut of the next series of entries entitled, 2nd Time Around. Giving you the inside perspective of the Eskimo’s 2009 season as we contend for the grey cup.
3 WEEKS OF SOLITUDE
Following the final game of the season, I was left with a feeling I had never felt before. The only reason I was in Edmonton was for football, now that it was done, I had nothing! I don’t like to lose. Even if I wasn’t playing, it still hurt. Sitting there trying to find answers of what I could have done better, I had none. You can’t really have much say from the sideline. Our last meeting was 2 days following the game. Coach explained to us how proud he was even though we came up short. It was virtually a new team with young faces everywhere. He also explained the cruel reality of this sport in that some of us may not be back next year. After an offensive and defensive meeting, we all parted ways. That same group of guys will never again be intact.
Returning home I wondered what I was going to do with my free time. Blank. The city was still new to me, I felt lost. The feeling of being all alone depressed me. I woke up with nothing on the schedule, no purpose. In university, I would have school to fall back on, which provided a decent schedule for me. In a new city, I was faced with the fact that I had nothing to keep me busy. At first, I thought I would get an early start on training for the next year. With zero motivation and still no concrete idea of what position I was going to play, it was hard to get the work done. Instead, I would lie on the floor of my room looking at the ceiling. I would put one song on repeat at a time and listen to it for hours.
With no closure on the season I was down in the ditch. I let myself go. The last time I had cut my hair was week 15. I stopped shaving as well. You can imagine how disheveled I looked. The only time I would leave the house was to go to the grocery store. My eating habits were horrible! My diet would consist of processed food and a side order of grease from the local Wendy’s. Sitting there in sorrow, I searched for answers. How could a year go by without me getting in there? It was out of my hands! Football was my life. It was the one thing that made me smile. With nothing to smile for, I had accomplished only 1 of the 6 goals I set out for myself. That goal being making the team.
My only visit was from young Cal, an emerging running back. He stopped by to drop off his golf clubs. There was no room for them in his car. Reminiscing about the season, I explained to him how I was feeling. He understood the growing pains as he was once there a year before. He advised me to keep pushing on and to come back with more strength. The last piece of advice he gave me before he left was “You can do anything with strong hip flexors.”
Back to my solitude, I had put some thought to what young Cal had said. Lacking motivation, I didn’t act upon it. I stopped watching all sports, and TV for that matter. Disconnecting myself from the world, family, and friends. I retreated into my own world. I would let the phone ring. I didn’t want to hear from anyone. Re-viewing films of past games, I was frustrated that I didn’t get to play. As days passed, I went from being choked up and aggressive to really calmed down. I just let it go. I had accepted that the last season was gone. Looking forward, instead of in the past, reality hit. I was out of shape. I had put on weight and not the good kind. It was now time to face the off-season.
After 17 days, I was tired of the way I was living. I needed a drastic shock after being cooped up in the house. I had to get some fresh air. I ran out into the midst of Edmonton’s cold winter. To combat the cool temperatures my attire consisted of under armour cold gear, two t-shits, a warm up sweater, football gloves, and a tuque. It was
-25°C but it was an embracing cold chill that sent shivers up my spine. With only 20 minutes of running behind me, it was so cold that my I-pod had stopped working. I was too far in to turn back now. Upon returning home my hands and feet were frozen. It was the most pain I felt all football season. Probably nearing hypothermia, I shivered myself back to room temperature. It was a lengthy process to warm back up. Though terribly sore for the next 3 days, I felt better. I was now on the road to recovery.
GRIND SEASON part I
After 3 weeks of dwelling in the past, it was time to let go and face reality. For the most part, players during the off-season return home, wherever that may be. Although I could have easily returned home to my parent’s house in Montreal, I decided not to. I was in a transitional period of my life and felt I could not go backwards. There comes a time where everyone has to leave their nest and explore the world in its fullest. I felt I could train more efficiently here in Edmonton. Montreal is such a beautiful city that I felt I would revert back to my old lifestyle and get caught up wasting time and money on pointless things. It was all about training this year. NO DISTRACTIONS!
The first day out of solitude I had 2 objectives; to meet with coaching staff, and meet with the strength coach. I needed some closure on the season. During my solitude, DM had stepped down from head coach and was in search of a replacement. No one was available to talk to. I was urged to come back in the new year when the staff was set. However, I did get to talk to the strength coach at the time. I told him of my intentions for the upcoming season. Currently weighing in at 196lbs, my initial goal was to lose 7lbs. I learned over the season that I did not have to be as big, but rather capable of moving. He told me it was simply a matter of diet which meant I had to cut my sloppy eating out. The components of my poor diet were namely white bread, fried eggs, fast food, and processed food. Without these unhealthy staples I had to plan a new and improved nutrition program. He was a great motivational speaker, and really got me going again. Now that I had a new program I was able to find more structure in my life.
As off-season training kicked off I ran into my good buddy Charlie! He had always helped me through the season and asked me what I was doing with my free time? I gave him a look and shrugged as if to say, not much. He asked me if I wanted to work to keep myself busy. Tired of being in the house, I took him up on his offer. It would be a nice change to get out a bit more. The job he lined up for me was at Totem Outfitters in the sports exchange. In the span of 4days, I went from being home all the time to never home. With work, training, and travel time I would be getting home around 10:30 at night and still have to cook dinner and lunch for the next day. This wasn’t working in my books, I had to cut time somewhere. Originally, I walked to work in the winter cold. For some reason I was enjoying it. But, it cost me a lot of time. We had a bike in the apartment and, although it was winter, I used it. At first I was embarrassed of my means of transportation. Here I am on the bike cycling around, while other guys on the team had caddilac’s, h2o’s, and BMW’s. When you’re grinding to get it, there is no shame in the game. You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get it done! I had already hit low points everywhere else in my life, so I might as well start everything at the bottom and work up. On the icy roads, with no winter tires and no helmet, I received many puzzled looks with “are you CRAZY?” written on their faces. As time progressed I stopped caring. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me.
During the month of December, I transformed my eating habits. I cut out everything bad in my diet, especially foods high in fat. I was still struggling with cooking for myself but at least I was making an effort. At times it felt like I was starving because I was used to filling up with large portions. For a month I didn’t look at the scale. When I returned home for the holidays, I wanted to see just how much progress I had made.
I apologize for any grammar mistakes, missed, or misspelled words. After such positive feedback from fans and friends, I was so excited to get the story out, that some weeks I neglected to check them for errors. Special thanks to my editor for cleaning up the blogs and making them easier to read. Now that the bulk of the story is out, I will ensure that I take my time in posting new entries. In the future, look forward to at least one blog a week on various topics.
Be prepared for the debut of the next series of entries entitled, 2nd Time Around. Giving you the inside perspective of the Eskimo’s 2009 season as we contend for the grey cup.
3 WEEKS OF SOLITUDE
Following the final game of the season, I was left with a feeling I had never felt before. The only reason I was in Edmonton was for football, now that it was done, I had nothing! I don’t like to lose. Even if I wasn’t playing, it still hurt. Sitting there trying to find answers of what I could have done better, I had none. You can’t really have much say from the sideline. Our last meeting was 2 days following the game. Coach explained to us how proud he was even though we came up short. It was virtually a new team with young faces everywhere. He also explained the cruel reality of this sport in that some of us may not be back next year. After an offensive and defensive meeting, we all parted ways. That same group of guys will never again be intact.
Returning home I wondered what I was going to do with my free time. Blank. The city was still new to me, I felt lost. The feeling of being all alone depressed me. I woke up with nothing on the schedule, no purpose. In university, I would have school to fall back on, which provided a decent schedule for me. In a new city, I was faced with the fact that I had nothing to keep me busy. At first, I thought I would get an early start on training for the next year. With zero motivation and still no concrete idea of what position I was going to play, it was hard to get the work done. Instead, I would lie on the floor of my room looking at the ceiling. I would put one song on repeat at a time and listen to it for hours.
With no closure on the season I was down in the ditch. I let myself go. The last time I had cut my hair was week 15. I stopped shaving as well. You can imagine how disheveled I looked. The only time I would leave the house was to go to the grocery store. My eating habits were horrible! My diet would consist of processed food and a side order of grease from the local Wendy’s. Sitting there in sorrow, I searched for answers. How could a year go by without me getting in there? It was out of my hands! Football was my life. It was the one thing that made me smile. With nothing to smile for, I had accomplished only 1 of the 6 goals I set out for myself. That goal being making the team.
My only visit was from young Cal, an emerging running back. He stopped by to drop off his golf clubs. There was no room for them in his car. Reminiscing about the season, I explained to him how I was feeling. He understood the growing pains as he was once there a year before. He advised me to keep pushing on and to come back with more strength. The last piece of advice he gave me before he left was “You can do anything with strong hip flexors.”
Back to my solitude, I had put some thought to what young Cal had said. Lacking motivation, I didn’t act upon it. I stopped watching all sports, and TV for that matter. Disconnecting myself from the world, family, and friends. I retreated into my own world. I would let the phone ring. I didn’t want to hear from anyone. Re-viewing films of past games, I was frustrated that I didn’t get to play. As days passed, I went from being choked up and aggressive to really calmed down. I just let it go. I had accepted that the last season was gone. Looking forward, instead of in the past, reality hit. I was out of shape. I had put on weight and not the good kind. It was now time to face the off-season.
After 17 days, I was tired of the way I was living. I needed a drastic shock after being cooped up in the house. I had to get some fresh air. I ran out into the midst of Edmonton’s cold winter. To combat the cool temperatures my attire consisted of under armour cold gear, two t-shits, a warm up sweater, football gloves, and a tuque. It was
-25°C but it was an embracing cold chill that sent shivers up my spine. With only 20 minutes of running behind me, it was so cold that my I-pod had stopped working. I was too far in to turn back now. Upon returning home my hands and feet were frozen. It was the most pain I felt all football season. Probably nearing hypothermia, I shivered myself back to room temperature. It was a lengthy process to warm back up. Though terribly sore for the next 3 days, I felt better. I was now on the road to recovery.
GRIND SEASON part I
After 3 weeks of dwelling in the past, it was time to let go and face reality. For the most part, players during the off-season return home, wherever that may be. Although I could have easily returned home to my parent’s house in Montreal, I decided not to. I was in a transitional period of my life and felt I could not go backwards. There comes a time where everyone has to leave their nest and explore the world in its fullest. I felt I could train more efficiently here in Edmonton. Montreal is such a beautiful city that I felt I would revert back to my old lifestyle and get caught up wasting time and money on pointless things. It was all about training this year. NO DISTRACTIONS!
The first day out of solitude I had 2 objectives; to meet with coaching staff, and meet with the strength coach. I needed some closure on the season. During my solitude, DM had stepped down from head coach and was in search of a replacement. No one was available to talk to. I was urged to come back in the new year when the staff was set. However, I did get to talk to the strength coach at the time. I told him of my intentions for the upcoming season. Currently weighing in at 196lbs, my initial goal was to lose 7lbs. I learned over the season that I did not have to be as big, but rather capable of moving. He told me it was simply a matter of diet which meant I had to cut my sloppy eating out. The components of my poor diet were namely white bread, fried eggs, fast food, and processed food. Without these unhealthy staples I had to plan a new and improved nutrition program. He was a great motivational speaker, and really got me going again. Now that I had a new program I was able to find more structure in my life.
As off-season training kicked off I ran into my good buddy Charlie! He had always helped me through the season and asked me what I was doing with my free time? I gave him a look and shrugged as if to say, not much. He asked me if I wanted to work to keep myself busy. Tired of being in the house, I took him up on his offer. It would be a nice change to get out a bit more. The job he lined up for me was at Totem Outfitters in the sports exchange. In the span of 4days, I went from being home all the time to never home. With work, training, and travel time I would be getting home around 10:30 at night and still have to cook dinner and lunch for the next day. This wasn’t working in my books, I had to cut time somewhere. Originally, I walked to work in the winter cold. For some reason I was enjoying it. But, it cost me a lot of time. We had a bike in the apartment and, although it was winter, I used it. At first I was embarrassed of my means of transportation. Here I am on the bike cycling around, while other guys on the team had caddilac’s, h2o’s, and BMW’s. When you’re grinding to get it, there is no shame in the game. You gotta do, what you gotta do, to get it done! I had already hit low points everywhere else in my life, so I might as well start everything at the bottom and work up. On the icy roads, with no winter tires and no helmet, I received many puzzled looks with “are you CRAZY?” written on their faces. As time progressed I stopped caring. I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me.
During the month of December, I transformed my eating habits. I cut out everything bad in my diet, especially foods high in fat. I was still struggling with cooking for myself but at least I was making an effort. At times it felt like I was starving because I was used to filling up with large portions. For a month I didn’t look at the scale. When I returned home for the holidays, I wanted to see just how much progress I had made.
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